Story: A Beautiful Death

“You could be rich, you know,” she said.

“Gold, gems, castles, anything your heart desires and more, everything you never even knew you could have.”

“I don’t want money,” he murmured.

“No?  Then what do you want?  Tell me and I will make it yours.”

When he didn’t respond, she forged on.  “Do you want a pretty wife who could make you lord of vast lands?  Or do you want to be lord in your own right?  You could rule over half the kingdom.”

She looked at him askance.

“You could even be king.”

He smiled.  “I won’t give you what you want.”

She frowned, her beautiful face suddenly turned petulant and cruel.  He knew she didn’t have much experience with people telling her no.

“If you’re done, I’ll be going now,” he told her gently.

“Wait.”  She stood and faced him fully for the first time, her eyes boring into his.

“You’re doomed; you know that right?  There’s no way you can win.”

He nodded.

“So why are you still fighting?  Switch sides!  Win!  Live!  Don’t die for no reason!” she cried, for the first time bleeding some emotion into her voice.

He paused.  “Because he’s everything to me.”

“So, it’s to be war then,” the king said, taking one look at his face as he strode into the throne room.

He remembered her offer and how earnestly she had pleaded and the way she had stroked his hand and asked.

“You could be king,” she whispered.

“Yes,” he said, dragging himself from the memories.  “There will be no peace.”  Not on any acceptable terms, anyway.

The king looked at him for a long time.

“We’ll need to move some troops over to the mountain passes.  She’ll have to attack from air there; she has no other option.”

“Well, don’t forget, we have to consider that she has her mercenaries too.  They’ll be able to flank and go through the side…”

Words washed over him, but he didn’t see the map or battle plans, only her face.

There was red everywhere, staining the side of his armor, coating the end of his sword, lapping at the edges of the trees, and whirling through the air.

There was no time to rest.  He couldn’t remember the last time he had taken a full breath.

There was only slicing metal and hoarse screams and biting pain.

He spun and hacked and butchered until there were corpses piled high, but still they came and then the others broke.

Turning, he yelled at them to come back to hold the line, but nobody paid any attention.

Suddenly his foot caught in the mud, and he fell heavily and felt the sun on his back.

He tried to scramble backwards, but there was no use and no time.

Instinctively, he raised an arm against the flames, and the last thing he saw was the gleaming scales and pointed teeth of her dragon and her lovely, regretful face.

Only smoke and ashes remained of the ragtag army.  They stung her throat, but she refused to turn back.

“No survivors?” she asked although she knew the answer.

“None,” he answered viciously.  “A good death for all of them, my queen.”

Yes, she thought, remembering his calm face.  A good death.

Dragon breathing fire.  Web Source.

Author's Note:  This is Game of Thrones meets Mahabharata basically.  Dr. Gibbs pointed out the similarities between Karna and Jon Snow so I had to write a story about it.  I obviously took some liberties with what happened in Game of Thrones, namely about what happens with Robb and Jon and Daenerys but I tried to keep it within the realms of possibility.  Since Karna was tempted and wooed by the other side, I added references to that between Daenerys and Jon and also included the trapped and vulnerable nature of Karna's death in Jon's fate.

Bibliography:  R.K. Narayan.  Mahabharata.  Reading Guide.

Reading Notes: Mahabharata Part D

• I like how the Pandavas have a lot of regrets and don't want to continue fighting the war.  I wish they would all just stop and make peace but I suppose there are too many grudges.
• It's interesting seeing this book's version of the quote:  "I am become death, destroyer of worlds."  That was my most favorite quote by J. Robert Oppenheimer about the atomic bomb, and I'm really glad that I got to read that part.  In this version Krishna says "I am death.  I am destruction."  I like the impact of the other version better.
• So many sad moments in here with Bhishma on his bed of arrows, Drona getting his head cut off, and Adhimanyu getting caught in the lotus maze formation.  The last one especially got to me when Arjuna began crying about his dead son.
• I was also sad about the death of Karna.  It was kind of interesting how many people tried to convince him to go back and support the Pandavas.  I like how much he stuck to Duryodhana even though he knew he was doomed simply because Duryodhana had been the one who had supported him from the very beginning.  He was loyal to the bitter end.
• I liked how defiant Duryodhana was even at the very end.  He knew he was going to die and had just been humiliated by Bhima, but still he finds it in himself to chastise a god about his situation.  Maybe he did deserve it since he had started everything in the first place, but even so he was still brave and strong.
• Out of her hundred sons, Gandhari only had one left.  That was pretty sad too as well as the fact that she and Dhritarashtra and Kunthi died in a forest fire.
• I liked how Narayan set up the epilogue by saying that all epics writers have a hard time not continuing on to the narrative.
• Overall, I was very surprised with how deep and philosophical some parts were.  In the PDE Ramayana I read, not a lot of the parts were philosophical.  It was mostly very action oriented it seemed, but in the Mahabharata, many parts had deep questions and quotes.  I especially liked the quote about the greatest wonder in the world.

Bhima and Duryodhana.  Web Source.

Bibliography:  R.K. Narayan.  Mahabharata.  Reading Guide.

Reading Notes: Mahabharata Part C

• I was a little shocked at the part where most of them drank water from the pond and died.  I knew they couldn't actually be dead since the battle still had to be fought but it was really interesting that all of them succumbed to the temptation except for Yudhishthira.  Also I was not expecting that the person who was testing them was actually Yudhishthira's father, so I guess it does make sense that he was the only one who passed.
• I'm glad that they actually got to enjoy their last year in exile with the boon from Yama.  It was nice that they could do whatever they wanted.  All of them chose such mundane things.  It makes me wonder whether they would have been happier just giving up their kingdom.
• I find it funny that even when Duryodhana goes to taunt the Pandavas and gets captured, they still rescue him and he still thanks them!  It's funny which courtesies can't be done away with.  It also makes me kind of sad though that they will fight.
• Their argument over the dice game is sad.  They're both right, kind of, but it's just so small and petty.  Whether they revealed themselves too early, or whether the dice game was legally entered into or not do not seem like terms by which an entire family should be destroyed.
• The Pandavas keep being built up into the family that is better and that should win.  I want more points of view from Duryodhana and Karna.  Everybody seems to think that Duryodhana is such a terrible person.  The story is still kind of ambivalent though.
• I find it interesting that Krishna still offers his help to both Duryodhana and Arjuna even though they're on opposite sides.
• Why can't they all just get along?!

Krishna and the Pandavas.  Web Source.

Bibliography:  R.K. Narayan.  Mahabharata.  Reading Guide.

Story: Gamblers Anonymous

“Welcome to Gamblers Anonymous!” the bright, cheery lady chirped.  “Let’s all go around the room and say our first names and why we’re here, shall we?  I’ll start!  I’m Anna and I lost my house playing poker!”

“I’m James and I’m here because the court ordered me to be after I started a prison fight betting ring.”

“I’m David and I started selling drugs to feed my addiction.”

“I’m Bri and I lost my entire family and turned to alcoholism after I gambled away my retirement fund and children’s college fund.”

“I’m Yudhishthira and I lost my wealth, my kingdom, my servants, my brothers, myself, and worst of all, my wife, on a dice game,” he sighed, with his face in his hands.

Everybody in the room turned and stared at him, aghast.

“Damn, dude, you had a kingdom?” James muttered.

“You had a wife?” David said.

“Yes,” he cried, “and I lost them all because of my stupidity.”

“Oh, wow, that sucks,” Anna said brightly.  “Why don’t you elaborate a little more on what exactly happened?”

“Well, my cousin invited me to a dice game.  I knew he had something up his sleeve because he never wants to play dice, but I had no choice but to accept.  So I—“

“Wait, hold up, you had to accept?” asked Bri.

“Yes, or it would have been a stain on my honor.  A Kshatriya never backs down from a challenge.”  The group looked even more confused than before, but he ignored them and continued.  “I headed over to his palace, but when I arrived he refused to play me.  Instead, he had his uncle Sakuni play for him.  Sakuni is wily and clever at dice games, and soon he was winning everything from me.  I should have stopped before it got too much, but I couldn’t!  A frenzy had come over me, and I had to keep playing.  I kept raising and raising the stakes until soon I stood before him a pauper, and still I could not stop playing.  Every time I rolled I thought this would be the time I won it all back.  But again and again he won until even my family had been won by him, as if they were mere slaves!  Soon the only thing that was left to me was my beautiful wife until even she had been won.  She would have been forced to disrobe too, but thankfully the Lord Krishna prevented that from happening.  Alas, I still had nothing, and that is why I sit before you now.  I hope to find solace here and recover from my ruinous habits.”

A profound silence greeted his statements.  None of them knew what to say, but all knew how he had felt while playing the game.

“Did you say you were playing against a man named Sakuni?” a deep voice suddenly growled from the back of the room.

Yudhishthira turned to see who it was and was greeted by a towering hulk of a man gripping a golden mace.  Next to him stood a slim, tall man absentmindedly playing with the strings of a bow almost as tall as he was, the opposite of the other in every way, and yet they seemed exceedingly similar somehow.

“Who are you?  How do you know Sakuni?”

“I am Bhima and my brother is Arjuna.  He cheated us out of everything we have too, just like you.  Once my brother and I were famous warriors, known throughout the land.  Then, Sakuni staked 13 years of exile on a dice game with us, and we lost.  We have been in hiding ever since, waiting for the day when we can strike back against him and take back what we lost.”

“You say you know his nephew, do you not?” Arjuna said thoughtfully.  “Perhaps we can use that to our advantage.”

“B-But you do not understand.  He is protected by that very same nephew and his friends.  There is no way we could reach him.”

The two brothers looked at each other grimly and stroked their weapons.

“Oh, we know a way,” Bhima smiled.

“What do you say, Yudhishthira?” Arjuna asked.  “Are you in?”

He hesitated.

“I—“

“Oh, come on, man, just go!  Get back your wife and kingdom!”  James threw open the door and gestured outside.  “You can’t just waste the chance to make everything right!”

He took a deep breath and nodded at Arjuna.  “I’m in.  Let’s go.”  As they walked out the door, the other gamblers cheered and made for the door as well, leaving behind a pleading Anna muttering something about court-mandated rehab.

Hand holding playing cards.  Web Source.

Author's Note:  This is based on the story of Yudhishthira's gambling with the Kauravas leading him into exile.  I lifted him into a more modern setting but kept much of the details although in this one Arjuna and Bhima are not his siblings and he gambled away other brothers.  I put Yudhishthira into Gamblers Anonymous since it seemed like he had a serious problem.

Bibliography:  R.K. Narayan.  Mahabharata.  Reading Guide.

Reading Notes: Mahabharata Part B

• Reading the introduction gave me more appreciation for the one scene where there is a woman and five men's charred remains found in the house.  In the Sanskrit version, they are tricked in there by the Pandavas and are left for dead simply for being members of a lower caste.  I appreciate how Narayan sidestepped the issue and simply said they must have wandered in accidentally.
• I just wish they would all get along now.  I hate seeing how much more the fights keep escalating.  Duryodhana should have been happy that they were going to have their own separate kingdom, but I suppose he would never have been happy that they were supposedly doing better than he was.
• Yudhishthira has a serious gambling problem.  Sakuni's rigging of the dice was wrong (and his explanation for why it wasn't wrong was silly.  It's not skill that allows you to rig dice.), but Yudhishthira could have stopped at any time.  He was only obligated to play one round.
• I keep losing sympathy for Duryodhana.  That's just mean to treat Draupadi like that.  At worst, she laughed at you.  At best, she had absolutely nothing to do with your conflict with the Pandavas.
• Seriously, Yudhishthira?  Did you really have to go back and play again?  All your brothers even told you this is a terrible and stupid idea!
• Bhima and Arjuna make good points about not remaining in exile the whole time, but I appreciate Yudhishthira's wanting to keep his vow.  I wonder what they'll choose in the end.
• Also Arjuna's "blessing" thing is kind of funny.  Wait 13 years while women scoff at you but don't worry it'll actually pay off in the end.

Draupadi's never ending robe.  Web Source.

Bibliography:  R.K. Narayan.  Mahabharata.  Reading Guide.

Reading Notes: Narayan's Mahabharata Part A

• The Kindle edition introduction was actually really interesting!  I really enjoyed reading about how many different versions of the Mahabharata there were and how other translators attempted to relay the story.
• I skipped the character guide at first but soon realized that was a mistake.  There are so many characters and this is coming from someone who reads Game of Thrones with ease.  I'm already getting mixed up with all of the different cousins and brothers and nephews.
• I love the story of Satyarati.  So weird but interesting.  The whole fish mother and fish odor thing was so funny.
• What happened with Vyasa and the two wives was really interesting.  Very unfortunate that that was the case.  Even though the king tried to make sure he would still have an heir, fate still made him lose all of them.
• I can already see the set up for the giant battle later.  It's so tragic.  I wish someone could have just said to them to stop fighting but I suppose it's hard to forget grudges when they build up so slowly over time.  And both sides are right too, in my opinion.  Maybe Duryodhana escalated things a little too quickly but still.
• Draupadi's story is very interesting haha.  I like the way Narayan tries vainly to explain her status in the context of the values of the time.

Draupadi's swayamwara.  Web Source.

Bibliography:  R.K. Narayan.  Mahabharata.  Reading Guide.

Feedback Focus

It was very fun trying out all of the different feedback techniques because I haven't really tried out anything like that before.  All of the techniques were very interesting and got me to re-evaluate how I approach giving feedback.  That being said, there were some things I didn't like about some of them.  My least favorite one was probably using the 10 minute timer.  I read much too fast for that to be helpful for me.  I finished reading the story twice and still had approximately 6 minutes left.  Then I read the comments and re-read the story for sentence structure and word choice.  I still had 2 minutes left after that that I didn't really know what to do with.  It was nice having such a large amount of time to really focus on the story itself but by then I wanted to get more into thinking about comments and just evaluating it and providing feedback rather than having to continue reading it.  I think that technique would be better for longer or more complicated writings.
My favorite technique was probably the copy-paste one, not least because I used Written?Kitten haha.  Overall, I did really like using this one so I could see my thought process throughout the entire story rather than just at the end.  However, many of my comments became more about trying to predict what would happen next or informal remarks about the characters' actions, although that might have been because I picked a particularly humorous fairy tale.
The reading out loud technique really helped me pay more attention to the rhythm and cadence of the story, something I do not try to focus on a lot when I write.  I think it would be fun for short stories like the fairy tales but not a good feedback strategy for longer works because I do not really want to spend half an hour reading a story out loud.
It was very fun trying out these different feedback techniques!  I might have to start incorporating the copy-paste technique in future feedback giving.

Dog and cat as enemies.  Web Source.