Thursday, September 29, 2016

Story: A Beautiful Death

“You could be rich, you know,” she said.
“Gold, gems, castles, anything your heart desires and more, everything you never even knew you could have.”
“I don’t want money,” he murmured.
“No?  Then what do you want?  Tell me and I will make it yours.”
When he didn’t respond, she forged on.  “Do you want a pretty wife who could make you lord of vast lands?  Or do you want to be lord in your own right?  You could rule over half the kingdom.”
She looked at him askance.
“You could even be king.”
He smiled.  “I won’t give you what you want.”
She frowned, her beautiful face suddenly turned petulant and cruel.  He knew she didn’t have much experience with people telling her no.
“If you’re done, I’ll be going now,” he told her gently.
“Wait.”  She stood and faced him fully for the first time, her eyes boring into his.
“You’re doomed; you know that right?  There’s no way you can win.”
He nodded.
“So why are you still fighting?  Switch sides!  Win!  Live!  Don’t die for no reason!” she cried, for the first time bleeding some emotion into her voice.
He paused.  “Because he’s everything to me.”

“So, it’s to be war then,” the king said, taking one look at his face as he strode into the throne room.
He remembered her offer and how earnestly she had pleaded and the way she had stroked his hand and asked.
“You could be king,” she whispered.
“Yes,” he said, dragging himself from the memories.  “There will be no peace.”  Not on any acceptable terms, anyway.
The king looked at him for a long time.
“We’ll need to move some troops over to the mountain passes.  She’ll have to attack from air there; she has no other option.”
“Well, don’t forget, we have to consider that she has her mercenaries too.  They’ll be able to flank and go through the side…”
Words washed over him, but he didn’t see the map or battle plans, only her face.

There was red everywhere, staining the side of his armor, coating the end of his sword, lapping at the edges of the trees, and whirling through the air.
There was no time to rest.  He couldn’t remember the last time he had taken a full breath.
There was only slicing metal and hoarse screams and biting pain.
He spun and hacked and butchered until there were corpses piled high, but still they came and then the others broke.
Turning, he yelled at them to come back to hold the line, but nobody paid any attention.
Suddenly his foot caught in the mud, and he fell heavily and felt the sun on his back.
He tried to scramble backwards, but there was no use and no time.
Instinctively, he raised an arm against the flames, and the last thing he saw was the gleaming scales and pointed teeth of her dragon and her lovely, regretful face.
Only smoke and ashes remained of the ragtag army.  They stung her throat, but she refused to turn back.
“No survivors?” she asked although she knew the answer.
“None,” he answered viciously.  “A good death for all of them, my queen.”

Yes, she thought, remembering his calm face.  A good death.
Dragon breathing fire.  Web Source.
Author's Note:  This is Game of Thrones meets Mahabharata basically.  Dr. Gibbs pointed out the similarities between Karna and Jon Snow so I had to write a story about it.  I obviously took some liberties with what happened in Game of Thrones, namely about what happens with Robb and Jon and Daenerys but I tried to keep it within the realms of possibility.  Since Karna was tempted and wooed by the other side, I added references to that between Daenerys and Jon and also included the trapped and vulnerable nature of Karna's death in Jon's fate.

Bibliography:  R.K. Narayan.  Mahabharata.  Reading Guide.

15 comments:

  1. That was a really interesting and easy story to read. While reading it I kept trying to think about what was going to happen next, I was on the edge of my seat, while waiting for the plot. I could actually imagine it in my head, it was playing like a movie but instead of watching it I was reading it. I look forward to reading some of your other stories.

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    1. Thank you I'm really glad you like it! I tried to make it as exciting as possible and add lots of descriptions for an immersive experience.

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  3. I love your style of writing! It’s so descriptive and advanced but still easy to follow. Even though in the end Karna still died, I liked how you made his death an honorable one. You made it to where he died with a purpose which therefore probably gave his wife some peace of mind even though her love had just died. Keep up the good work!

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    1. Thank you so much! Yes, I really wanted to emphasize how courageously he faced his death and how loyal he was to Duryodhana even in the face of such overwhelming odds.

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  4. I really like the stylistic approach you took here. The tone is excellent for the piece and it makes it both approachable at first but also easy to follow once the reader is actually into the piece. You've dealt with some really heavy-hitting material here and I think you've done a great job with it. Good luck with any and all revisions with it!

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    1. Thank you so much! I'm really glad you like it!

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  5. This story was very entertaining! I loved the style you used to retell this story. I thought that using the characters and their quotes like you did made this story very easy to follow along with and comprehend. You did a good job of building suspense and making this a very unique and enjoyable read. I also enjoyed the comparison being drawn to game of thrones.

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    1. Thank you! I definitely tried to build a lot of suspense with what would happen to the main character so I'm glad you liked it!

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  6. This was a very interesting story! It was very relevant to today's television with the Game of Thrones twist! I wish I watched Game of Thrones so I had a little better of an idea what was happening and who was who. In your author's note, you mainly wrote about your comparison, so maybe you could give more of an explanation as far as what was happening in the Mahabharata to help the reader if they haven't watched GoT or read that part of the Mahabharata (like me...I know, I'm behind :P) Overall though, I really enjoyed this story even though I don't watch GoT and I'm not caught up on the reading. You write very well and I'm excited to read some more of your stories!!

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    1. Thank you! Yes, sorry, sometimes I assume that everybody has watched Game of Thrones, haha, and knows what I'm talking about! I'm glad you still enjoyed the story though!

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  7. I really enjoyed your story! I have never watched Game of Thrones, but if it is anywhere close to as interesting as your story I need to start! I found it to be very unique! My favorite thing was there was not too much of an introduction. I felt that it was engaging right from the start, and I actually prefer that. I cannot wait to read more of your stories!

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    1. Thank you! I hope this does make you watch some!! I am a big fan of just dropping readers into the story so I'm glad you like that style!

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  8. The beginning of this story reminded me of the extra reading I just did. The woman in the comic book didn't want to marry for money, but she wanted to marry for love. Unfortunately, I have never seen Game of Thrones so I didn't fully understand everything; however, I still enjoyed the story! Your use of dialogue is really awesome and something that I want to start adding to my stories!

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  9. I really liked the line, "bleeding some emotion into her voice." Also, Game of Thrones gets my thumbs up pretty much every time. Ugh, I can't believe the next two seasons are so short. I hope it goes better for John and the Mother of Dragons when they meet on the show! She could be fire and he could be ice right? I guess it could also be Dragons vs. White-Walkers. Your story got my mind racing. I'd say that's a good thing.

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